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April 12 Easter SundayYesterday our church had a huge egg hunt for all the neighborhood kids. They had like 7,000 eggs!! The girls loved it. Hannah found 2 prize eggs (WELL...thanks to her cheating Daddy who stood over one and called her over to it) which she graciously shared with her sister! It is a big event for the church every year and it was a BIG hit!! Then last night, as I already wrote, Emily asked Jesus into her heart. We are so proud of her.
We helped in the dinning hall this morning as they had a large group here at Pinebrook. Steve led the service for the staff here this morning and gave his first "sermon" and even played the guitar for the first time in public for worship! I am so proud of him. He's doing great. Already I see where he is getting to use his talents more and able to do more of what excites him here at Pinebrook. It makes me happy to see him thriving. Steve put Em on the spot and asked her if she wanted to share with the group about her good news and to my surprise she did! She wasn't shy about it at all - I was SO SO proud of her too!
After the Pinebrook service we ran to our church for service too. It was a beautiful service - once again I was saddened at not being a part of it. I just don't know what God has in store for my ministry. I see Steve falling into his niche, but I haven't found mine yet. Church ministry excites me and I feel like I was being raised up for that...but this church doesn't seem to need us. They aren't looking for staff (as far as I know), they have a great established worship team, plenty of piano players, worship leaders, and a good choir director already. God just hasn't revealed what He has planned for me yet. In the meantime I'm not bored!! I still have my hands full at home with the kids and keeping up with this house! We still have lots of stuff in the garage waiting to be organized and unpacked and the never ending housecleaning, laundry, and errands are keeping me busy!
We came back to the dinning hall to help with lunch after church and the cook was so sweet to bring Emily a piece of cake with a candle in it for her spiritual "birthday!" She was beaming!!
After we got home from the BUSY morning we had our own family Easter egg hunt and gifts. Then Mommy crashed on the couch while the rest of the family watched a movie! What a lovely family day celebrating Easter...and I think I'm going to go crash again! Night!! April 11 Easter BlessingTonight at bedtime I decided we should read the Easter story from Emily's preschool Bible. It talked about Jesus taking the punishment for our sins and then it asked if we wanted to thank Jesus for taking our sins away and ask him into our hearts. Emily said yes she did!
We had talked to her about salvation before and I've told her it's a decision she needs to make if she wants to live with Jesus forever and ever. Tonight she said she was ready to ask Jesus to be part of her life and she wants to go to heaven. I explained as best I could for a 4 year old what "Jesus in your heart" and "going to heaven" means. The important thing is that she knows she is glad Jesus took her punishment, God is good and worthy of praise, and our whole family will be together someday in heaven.
She prayed and asked Jesus to come into her heart...then the usual thank you for food today, thank you for everyone in the world, thank you for letting us see kittens today (Pinebrook camp cat) etc...After she said Amen she remembered she wanted to say thank you for dying on the cross so then she said, "and I'm sorry I already said amen, but thank you for dying on the cross and for helping my sins away."
And she reminded me of how Hannah has a birthday party every year on her spiritual birthday...and can she have one too?
 April 10 Emily's Explanation"When you grow up you get more helpful magic in your body so you can be more helpful...I just made up that!"
Emily Rau, age 4, when complimented on helping with the laundry like a big girl. April 08 Catch upWell, we went to Victory last Sunday. It was hard for me. I loved the service but it was hard knowing I wasn't a part of it anymore. I think it will be a LOOOONG time before I can attend any church service without crying.
While we were travelling this past weekend Hannah got sick. Really really sick. She hasn't been sick in (literally) years!! It sarted with a headache ("Mommy, my brain hurts...") then she threw up on the way home, then she had a terrible fever for 3 days and barely moved, and now she has horrible congestion in her chest and head. Emily got the fever for 2 days but is better now and I had/have a headache and sore throat. But I think we are all on the mend now!
I had my house all set up and unpacked and clean. Then we brought a second load from the old house that I need to organize and put away. ~SIGH~ This house will be mine eventually! Until then Igo back and forth between wanting to "git-r-done" and wanting to hide in my bed and ignore it! Since I feel a little better today I better get some things accomplished!
 We found out that we need to work at Pinebrook over this coming Easter weekend which is a little disappointing. We do want to be servants and help wherever needed - it just stinks that we won't be able to attend church together on Easter Sunday or Good Friday or travel when Hannah has so much time off of school. On the other hand, maybe the house can get some attention with us around all weekend! God knows what we need - and how we can best be used.
For those reading this who are supporting us, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Even though our house hasn't sold we are making all our payments and are praising God for providing for all of our needs through you. Thanks so much! You are thought of and appreciated every day!! March 27 Hannah's StoryHannah wrote this at school today:
"I once moved to Pensilvanya. It was a very nice place so we stayed there! I am still unpacking from that day! I love my new school and home!" March 24 Snaggletooth is no moreHannah, our little snaggletooth, had her front tooth protruding and hanging on for dear life for weeks now. She spent a week at Grammy's house and I was sure she'd come home without it. She went to school and I was sure she'd come home without it. But last night around 2:00 AM she came into our room to announce that it was out! She went to the bathroom and wiggled it with her tongue as she was getting into bed as she does all the time...and it landed on her bottom lip she said! Hardly any blood...it was just ready! The toothfairy was too tired last night, but she will make an apprearance tonight!
   March 19 Here We Are!We are here in our new home! We moved in yesterday and today and tomorrow are unpacking and organizing like crazy before our families come for a visit this weekend! This is the fun part of moving in my mind...SOOOO much better than packing up!
I am crouched on a small file box balancing the keyboard in my lap as I type and using a nearby box lid for a mouse pad...but we are up and online. I'm sitting among a million boxes but the house is beginning to look like home and we are really blessed. We were blessed by people helping us move, the people at Pinebrook who did some work on the house for us, and people who gave financially to help us make this transition. We are grateful to all of you! Who could do something like this alone?? Thank God for the body of Christ!
We will post pics soon...when we get settled. Thank you for your prayers as we continue to ask the Lord to sell our house in His time! March 16 One More Thing....For anyone who isn't positive God is in the details...we drove past a Papa John's in East Stroudsburg today. Can't wait for dinner tomorrow night. Coming HomeI drove home for the last time tonight. Home to Painted Post, that is. Things have been happening quickly and I haven't been able to update recently. First of all I am excited to report that God has been making good on His promise to provide. We've had several generous gifts, an extra paycheck, and many hands to help us. The past week has been an outpouring of love and help and we are so grateful. Emotionally the joy and excitement has been able to come to the surface because of the encouragement God has sent our way and we know it is going to be ok. Our house has not sold yet, but we are going to make it for the time being.
Yesterday was our last Sunday at Victory and Steve and I were both on the worship team. It was emotional, but confirming. We can't say it enough, we are grateful.
Today Steve and I drove to our new house. The amazing maintenance staff did a great job repairing walls, painting, ordering carpet, and hanging blinds for us. We were so happy! It looks like a different house than I saw last time. And the biggest blessing of all - the ladies cleaned the whole house for us. It was a HUGE relief to come into the house today. We dropped off a van load of stuff, set up my fishies in their new home and headed back to Painted Post to pick up the moving truck and start the serious loading.
And I drove "home" for the last time tonight. You know that familiar feeling of comfort that comes over you when you come into your hometown after being away on a trip? Yeah, that's the last time that feeling will be welcoming me home in this area. We miss it already...the feeling that this is our home. We are looking forward to the new one...but this one has a special place in our hearts.
Tomorrow is the big day! And there's still much to be done. Thanks to all the helpers. You are appreciated more than words can say! March 07 Jeremiah 29:11- sort of..."For I know the plans I have you, Amy," declares the Lord. "Plans to PROSPER you and not to HARM you. Plans to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE. Haven't you been in uncertain spots before where I took care of you? Would you just chill out and wait for me? I don't need your help, OK? I got this." - Jeremiah 29:11 (paraphrase by Amy Rau) The last SkatesSteve's last skating events were tonight. Skating is one event that has been around since the beginning of YA and still continues. It is the one thing that has stayed the same for Steve the entire time he was at Family Life Ministries. He now runs them almost entirely on his own from setting up the sound system, preparing music and video playlists, playing emcee and teaching the devotional. It has just been recently that the girls have been old enough to enjoy the skates! I got them both skates and blades for Easter last year and they have gone from CLINGING to mommy for dear life to today pushing my hand away and leaving me all alone! Watch these beautiful girls!
     March 03 TRUSTINGThere are still no bites on our house. Right now it looks as if this won't happen before we move. Humanly speaking we don't know what to do. We look at the numbers and fear going into debt if we have to take this house with us on our new salary. But every song I hear lately...every prayer that I listen to...every friend that encourages speaks of trusting God.
He has always been faithful to us. We've had many uncomfortable moments and close calls, but we have NEVER been in want. He always gives just enough just in time. It's part of living on faith. There is no cushion. If there were we would get too comfortable and forget to rely on Him. He has a plan. We have no idea what it is...but often His plans are surprises to us! Usually something we would never even have imagined. We are trusting and sometimes it is sheer will to not freak out and worry...but we know His is trustworthy.
We are excited to be able report to you what wonderful way God provides for the sale of our house!! We'll be in touch... February 24 Catchin Up!We just got home from being away for 10 days! It is so good to get away! The first weekend we visited Pinebrook and I got to see my new house for the first time. We are excited about it. We will have plenty of space and Steve will be soooooo close to work (.3 mile)!!! He's been driving 30 minutes to work for 9 years ~ this will be wonderful to have him so close!
Then we took the girls to the Outer Banks for 4 days where we stayed with our time share and did...not much! We watched movies, played games, swam in the pool, and visited the Wright Brother's monument. It was low 40s and very windy each day. The weather warmed up a bit (57)as we were checking out so we stopped at the beach for about 15 minutes before getting on the road. Too bad it just got warm then...I could have spent all day on the beach! We had a relaxing time and it ended up being a very economical vacation.
On the way home we stopped at Steve's parents' house and dropped off our kids for the weekend. Steve had to work and I spent the weekend with some girlfriends for our annual girls' weekend away! I look at it as a vacation from being a mommy...and after a week of living with the girls 24-7 in close quarters, the timing was perfect! We stayed at a hotel for free thanks to my friend's husband's frequent staying hotel points (that's the official term, by the way...). We swam in the pool, sat in the sauna, scrapbooked, talked, shopped, ate, and just RELAXED!!!
Now we are back at it with school and work and the stress of the reality that we are leaving in 3 weeks. Our house showed twice while we are gone but no offers. We are starting to get nervous about continuing to pay for this house with the taxes and the insurance on the new salary. We know God has a plan and we are working hard at trusting and not worrying. We could use your prayers.
3 weeks. Wow. It is hard to believe. February 04 No BitesNo bites on the house. There were 3 couples who went through it this past weekend and they didn't think it was right for them for one reason or another. Haven't had any more calls this week about showings. We are still praying. We are also praying for details regarding the new house and our future support. There is so much up in the air right now...transitions are hard. Please pray for us. January 30 Making Me Smile Today......my daughter cleaning up the spilled mac n cheese on the floor exclaiming, "I'm a vacuum!" and shoving the pasta into her mouth.
...our first house showing scheduled for tomorrow.
...3.2 lbs lost.
...my husband and children leaving me alone for the night (and more importantly...the morning).
...fat free Jello vanilla caramel pudding cups.
...my daughter singing, "if it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey, if it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey it's an ape."
...looking forward to a marriage retreat, family vacation, seeing my new house, and a mommy-vacation all this coming month.
...Correction - our first house showing TODAY and second one tomorrow! Hence why I'm bringing this to a close. LOTS and LOTS to do in the next hour.
Praise God!
January 28 Amazing NightI asked Steve a few weeks ago if there was any way he could get us tickets for the Chris Tomlin/Israel Houghton concert (one of the perks of working at Family Life and knowing PR people!). He said probably not. Oh well! Then at the last minute he decided to try and yes, got us two free tickets! Then because of my connections with people at Integrity Music I was able to get meet and greet passes for us! (Do we REALLY want to leave our jobs?!?!?!?)
So after some stress trying to secure babysitting on a school night (and we knew it would be a LATE night) some gracious friends agreed to help us out and we were on our way! The meet and greet was supposed to happen before the concert...we got there a little early (imagine that!) and found out they had problems at sound check. The board "blew up"...blew a fuse or component or something and at the last minute they had to borrow a board from the University and get reset! So the meet and greet was pushed till after the concert and the doors opened late.
The concert was amazing. I love seeing Isreal and New Breed live. When I grow up I want to be one of his back up singers. They were having so much fun dancing and worshipping! Then Chris came on and the second half was amazing worship as well. Israel's sister in law was in charge of the meet and greet with him and texted me during the show that we could come down to the stage after the performance (how cool is that??). When we got there Israel's son was sick and it wasn't a good time for him to come out to meet us, but Jennifer gave us passes to go meet Chris Tomlin and her card if she could ever do anything for us in the future. I am kicking my self that I didn't bring my CD to give to powers that be...so I think I might write to Jennifer thanking her and giving her a copy in the near future!
So we went to meet Chris and shook his hand, got an autograph, and a picture...and gushed over HOW MUCH WE LOVE HIM!!!!! It was totally cool. We had such a great experience. I told him I was a fledgling songwriter and worship leader and he encouraged me. At the end of the concert Israel came out and did a duet with Chris and they both took a moment to say thank you to anyone in the audience who leads worship or pastors their own church. It touched me because they spoke of understanding the pressure and criticism everyone gives a worship leader. The drums are too loud, the tempos aren't right, blah, blah, blah...They are so right. It is a really hard job and it meant a lot that they understand that and appreciate it. Plus...I think of myself as a worship leader and that's where my heart is, but I'm leaving my job. I don't know what God has for me next or what He has been preparing me for. In some ways I feel like I won't have an indentity come March. But if I could choose...I'd gladly be that person that runs out on the stage to grab Tomlin's guitar and hand him his otherone!
January 16 Em CutenessI finally got some cute videos uploaded that I took at my parents' house at Christmas time. I want to remember her just like this as she grows older!
We continue to spread the news that we are leaving to our Victory "family." It is a difficult process. I feel so pulled with my attention...all I want to do it be at home with my family and taking care of the business of packing and organizing and making contacts as we prepare to put this house on the market, yet I want to finish strong with work and I don't want to have an apathetic attitude. I'm struggling with that. I so want to get everything over with. It is torture that I still haven't seen my new house yet! Steve is really busy with work as every weekend between now and moving are filled. It will make getting things packed and repaired more difficult.
We had a realtor come through the house last week and she was really positive. But do realtors who want to get a commission come into a house and say, "No one will want this house?" Anyway, she thinks we can ask more than we paid for it, which is a good thing, and there are no other similar houses on the market right now...that's a good thing, isn't it? It's all about God's timing so we continue to pray ...and trust.
January 09 Hannah's Funny StoryI thought this was wonderfully humorous writing from my 7 year old. I laughed out loud when I read it. Maybe you have to be a proud mom....
Dr. Perkinstein and Tito created a monster. His name was Floyd.
"Now," said Dr. Perkinstein to Floyd, "you must do what I tell you. Go down to the village and buy us a large pizza."
"With anchovies," added Tito.
Hannah was supposed to write what happened next. Here is her story:
So Floyd went down into the village and Floyd got a SMALL pizza. When Floyd got home Dr. Perkinstein said, "I said to get a large pizza." So Floyd went to the village and got a large pizza. Since Floyd was not very smart they turned him off.
January 05 Changes...It has been over a year, maybe a year and a half, that we have felt a stirring from the Lord in our spirits. We sensed there was a change around the bend at some point. There were issues at Family Life that made us question if God wanted us to continue serving there, but we didn't feel a release so we did not pursue other options. We kept keeping on and seeking the Lord for His will.
On Hannah's birthday this past November we got an email from Steve's former pastor who married us and is now the director of Pinebrook Bible Conference in East Stroudsburg, PA. He has been reading our letters and following our ministry and has been praying for years about possibly partnering with us. He asked Steve to consider moving there and becoming Program Director. We talked about it and prayed about it for a few weeks and went there to visit the second week of December. We talked through all the details of the job, the facilities, and the housing and on the way home we both felt the Lord leading us there.
The day after Christmas we accepted the position. We will be moving to East Stroudsburg around mid-March and beginning a whole new life. We have peace about leaving this area and the one thing that solidifies that this is of God...we have peace about leaving Victory. I would never have been able to accept that before. Victory has become our family here in New York, but even more than that for me, it has become part of my identity. I have found acceptance, respect, admiration, and purpose in my job there. I have found that I have a passion for church worship and leading others into His presence. I have been taught and mentored by my boss who treated me more as his partner than his assistant. With my low self-esteem, it has meant the world to me to find something I am good at and somewhere I can feel like I belong. I can't say enough wonderful things about Victory's staff and their commitment to be better leaders, grow a better church, and be more effective ONLY FOR GOD'S GLORY. They are amazing and that is the hardest part about leaving. I have been so incredibly blessed to be a part of that staff for the last 8 years.
Interestingly I have sensed in the last months that my role has been changing. Victory is moving in a direction where Steve and I just don't fit as well as we used to. Musically speaking I know were are not what the leadership is looking for to take them to the next level. That being the main reason, the Lord has given us a feeling of release from Victory and it is ok. It is time to move and this season is coming to an end. I know with all my heart that we were in the right place for the right time. It felt so right for a long time, and now it feels right to go. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us in the next phase of our ministry! How will He choose to use us in our new church? How will I get to use what I've learned in the last 8 years? How will God use Steve who has found a new passion in speaking to teens and seeking Christian education?
Please pray with us about all the next few months have in store. We still need to raise support as we make this transition. We need to sell our house. We need to make school arrangements, We need to pack up our lives here. This is the only home the girls have ever known...weird to think of them as New Yorkers!
Thank you for your support and prayers. We welcome comments & questions and know that we will miss this place and its people dearly. sparkley lips that smell like nail polishHannah came and told me that Em had gotten into her mail polish and when I went upstairs, sure enough, the whole place smelled like it! I got Emily to tell me she used the white sparkley nail polish on her fingers but her lips too were very sparkley! She proceded to tell me there was nail polish on her lips but she didn't know how it got there. After she got a talk about lying she said she was putting more nail polish on the little paint brush and maybe it accidentally brushed her lips. She got two punishments - one for using nail polish without permission and one for lying about it. I hope she understands in the future it's better to tell the truth..but I had a hard time not smiling at my cute princess with painted (literally) lips!!!! |
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